It has been awhile since I have written. I have been so consumed with my son’s well-being and dealing with so many changes in my life (most have been positive changes), but I have still allowed this to consume me.
I’m not sure if I would call it a rut, but so many things have been going on in my life that I put my writing on the back burner.
I have so many creative outlets that are at my disposal, but I have chosen not to write for the past six months. In the back of my mind I would say, “I need to blog about this,” and “I really need to start writing again.” Why do we choose to alienate the things that can often assist with our thought processes, especially if those things fulfill us in some way? I am fulfilled whenever I am writing, singing or acting, yet I haven’t been doing any of those things lately.
My last blog post was about how I decided to return the United States since my oldest son was headed to basic training. I don’t regret this decision at all. If I had stayed in Madrid, he wouldn’t have been able to write me as freely and vise versa. The mail in Spain wasn’t as fast or cost effective when it was coming and going from the United States. There is some sort of customs rate or something, and I just decided to not deal with it for the most part while I was living there. With that being said, had I stayed in Madrid, I wouldn’t have been able to see my son before he left for basic training, nor would I have been able to communicate with him as much as I was able to in the United States.
Basic Training Graduation: As I mentioned earlier, I have been consumed with my son’s well-being. We went to his graduation for basic training, and I was so completely proud of him. I could already tell that his maturity level had elevated as I read his many letters while he was in basic. When I saw him marching on the stage during the ceremony, my heart swelled with emotion.
The feeling of being a proud mother coupled with the worry that he could very well deploy within the next couple of years was enough to bring a few tears to my eyes. There has also been the internal struggle of finding space to support my son and his new career choice, while still holding onto my left wing values. This has become much easier as I have sought counsel from several friends who have served and have the same political views as myself.
Graduation and family day was on July 5th and 6th. Che is a Fourth of July baby, but we wouldn’t be able to see him until the following day. We did a road trip to Ft. Leonard Wood and saw the fireworks on post.
Family Day was fun, and he showed us the bowling skills he had acquired during his weekend passes he had earned during his training.
I soon found out that the deployment concern is very valid. As soon as he got to his permanent duty station they informed him that his new unit is deploying to the Middle East. He is leaving very soon, and I have been really struggling with this. My ex-husband was in the Army, and was gone the majority of the time we were married before he retired. I always worried about him, but it is different when it is your child. It is a different worry. Luckily, we have been able to see him a few times before he leaves, and I have faith that everything will be well.
Re-Evaluating Things: There have been a few lifestyle changes in my family that have prompted deep thought. Most of the changes are of a positive nature, but even positive changes can often seem stressful.
One of the biggest changes is my living situation and relationship status.
When my daughter and I came back from Madrid, my ex-husband was a lot calmer than he used to be, and I could tell that there were significant changes. To make a long story short, after a couple of months of being home, he and I decided to go to counseling and work things out. Neither of us have ever re-married, and I have to wonder if there is a reason for this.
My ex-husband and I have been separated for ten years, and divorced for eight years. Before the separation we were married for 13 years. I assume that both of us lived a lot of life in that time apart. I know I have. I have been VERY independent and I am completely happy being single. In fact, this has been a struggle for me. It is hard to learn how to be in a relationship again when I am so used to do virtually EVERYTHING on my own. I can be very stubborn, and I admit this.
My daughter and I are now living in the house, and things have been pretty good for the most part. We have been getting a lot of updates done on the home, and since this was the house that we had before we got divorced, it is nice to have that “cleansing” so to speak.
I have a lot of different things to talk about, and my goal is to go back to posting at least once a week! Our House Hunters International experience, visits to see my son, and our Disney World trip are most likely up next. 🙂
I was so happy to read your updates. I miss you!
Thank you Ginny! I miss you too!! ❤️
Wow – that is a lot of changes. I can see why writing took a back burner. Sounds like you are handling them well though.
Thank you! Yes, I’m trying. 🙂
Awww. Proud mama! Good job mom your kids are beautiful!
Thank you! I appreciate that!
Great post! I can not wait to read your house hunter international post! I love that show!!
Thank you! I will write that soon. I have to be careful about what details I share due to confidentiality, but I will do my best!
Thank your son for his service. Peace be with you, as well! My cousin recently joined the army and you can see the toll it takes on the parents. Looking forward to future posts. It seems like you will have some good content coming up!
I will definitely thank him! Thank you for saying that!
WOW! These are so many changes! This is so much to go through, but it sounds like you are using a lot of introspection to get through it!
Definitely thinking about a lot. Life happens. Thank you for reading my post! 🙂
Please thank your son for his wiliness to serve our country. I really enjoyed reading your post.
I will thank him! I’m so glad you enjoyed reading it. 🙂
Bless you and your son
Thank you very much! ❤️
Good for you for getting back at writing again! It’s great for working things out. Good luck with everything!
Thank you! I’m happy I did! 🙂
A huge thank you to your son for his service! These sound like some really positive life changes. Best wishes to your family.
Thank you! Yes, positive changes most definitely!
Those are a lot of changes! It must be difficult to balance pride with fear. Thank you to your son for his service. I look forward to reading more updates.
Thank you for reading! I look forward to posting more.
A lot of good positive changes. Thank your son for his service!
Thank you!
Congratulations to your son and may he stay safe. As far as your relationship goes, see what happens. You sound like a strong and independent woman so if something happens or doesn’t I think you’ll still be happy 🙂
Enjoyed your post. I know the feeling of being proud and worried at the same time. Proud Navy mom to 2.
Thank you for being so open and honest.
It’s nice to hear that your son is doing well, even with all of the changes.
I feel like as moms we are constantly having to re-evaluate our lives. This is inspirational!
Sometimes we need a break, unfortunately it can be hard to come back from breaks!
Glad to hear your writing again! Having a creative outlet can be extremely therapeutic. Best wishes to your son and family!
You’ve had a lot going on ~ all things that seem to be positive. It’s tough watching your kids grow up and, having been married to military (retired now), I know it’s not easy on the heart to watch loved ones go down paths that are potentially dangerous. The good news is that he is doing something positive with his life and you have a lot for which to be proud. Be strong, Mama. Smile big and take each day as it comes. Can’t wait to hear about your Walt Disney World trip!
Thank you! Yes, taking it day by day is the only way to go.
Thank you for sharing your story! A creative outlet is great to have, but no one can fault you from taking a break from it.
Thank you!
Thank you for sharing. Thank your son for me. You should be proud of yourself as well as your son. Those were some difficult decisions. Good luck to you. I wish you all the best.
Thank you for your kind words! 🙂
Wow, incredible story. Thanks to you and your son for what you are doing for our country.
As a mother I can totally understand your worry for his safety. So many life changes for your but you seem to be doing well, good for you.
Thanks for sharing and for being real. And thank you to your son for his service! I can’t wait to read about House Hunters International!
Wow so many wonderful positive changes happening! So happy for you 🙂
Thanks to your son for his service! Change can be scary and exhilarating at the same time. Congrats on having the courage to get out there and live your life!
So many changes! Thank you to your son for his service.
Thank you for sharing your story! I think it is amazing that you like being independent and you have learned to be comfortable with that. Kudos!
Thank you for your words of encouragement! Yes, it is both a blessing and a curse I think. 🙂
Thanks for sharing! I’m glad to see you happy and enjoying life!
Nice read! Love following your adventures in life. Hope your son stays safe in his new assignment.
Thank you!! 🙂